I retired in December after 22 years as a cop. There were many reasons that led me to my decision to retire, the current and unbelievably disgusting wave of hatred that is sweeping across this nation for Law Enforcement, absolutely piss-poor leadership at my department, and my stress level to mention just a few.
I never really pictured myself being retired….I never thought I would live that long to tell you the truth, but here I am alive and kicking and trying to figure out how this retirement thing works.
I am not the type of person who likes to sit around half naked eating Cheetos and watching reruns of Jerry Springer. I’d rather be doing something with my time and feel like I accomplished something at the end of the day. However, I am having a hard time figuring out what I want to do. There are plenty of things I need to do, or things I must do, but figuring out what I want to do has proven difficult for me.
Now some of you may be saying to yourself “what is wrong with this dumbass!?” and I don’t blame you. I am saying the same thing to myself. It should be easy to figure out what one wants to do with his or her free time, I mean come on, you don’t have to be anywhere by a certain time, you don’t have to report to anyone else (wife excluded here for arguments sake), and you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do. Just get up and do what you want to do!
Well I’m here to tell you that it is not that simple, trust me. I get up sometimes with a set plan of doing something, of accomplishing some great task, or completing that one chore that I’ve been putting off forever, but then something happens. Something inside me says “I don’t want to do that today”. So then I try to decide what I do want to do, and usually end up not doing a damn thing! It’s frustrating as hell believe me.