A Trip to the Car Dealership

I had to take my bride’s car in to the dealership this morning to get the oil changed and tires rotated. No, I haven’t lost my mind, we have a maintenance program that we got with the car so that’s why I took it to the dealership.

So I pull into the big fancy drive-through garage that can hold about 40 cars, and my car is the only one in there. I am gathering up my stuff to get out of the car and when I turn to open the door I get the fuzzy hell scared out of me by this woman who is staring at me through the window!

She says “Welcome to Toyota of Rockwall, my name is blah, blah, blah”…..MA’AM….CAN I GET OUT OF THE CAR? I mean it’s not like they are balls-to-the-wall busy here. Slow down and let me finish my QT Blueberry donut and I’ll be with you in a second! Geeeeesh.

So I get out of the car and she starts throwing questions at me at 90 mph. Now, I don’t know what those questions were because I just tuned Penelope Pitstop out and handed her the key. “I need the oil changed and the tires rotated” and we walked into the check-in office.

Penelope checked me in and I went to the waiting area, where I found out that the damn Playstation was broken! To make things worse, the TV was tuned to “Murder She Wrote” by the 80 year-old lady that had beaten me to it. The magazines were all old or man-bashing women’s magazines. What do these people expect me to do with myself to keep me from going and looking at the new trucks and then having something really bad happen?……..and y’all know what that is.

So I slowly start wondering around a little bit, being careful not to stray too close to the Pearl White 2020 4 Wheel Drive Extended-Cab Tundra, with a 4-inch lift-kit, tan leather interior with a Bose Audio System, and the Texas towing package. I knew better than to get too close to it.

As I’m walking around, I spot a man and woman who were obviously car shopping, and by the exhibition of enthusiasm it was plain to see that it was most likely their first time to buy a new car. I decided to entertain myself by following them around and being nosy.

Well Mindy (that’s the woman’s name) was wanting a new RAV4, but Mork, (I never caught his name so that’s what I named him), wanted to look at the Tundra (the one that I wasn’t about to go too close to) and for most of the time, Mindy won this battle. Eventually, however, Mork managed to get her to go look at the truck.

Now Mindy is about 10 months pregnant by the looks of her, and there was no way that little woman was going to be able to climb up in that truck with her tummy the size of a small country! Mork, however, really wanted her to try and get in so she could see the beautifully crafted cockpit complete with custom cup holders that will keep your baby bottles ice-cold, and your
Grande Starbucks Hot Cinnamon Dolce Latte with no-whip piping hot……………………………….I’m told that anyway.

Dumb-ass Mork kept trying to get his poor little inflated wife to climb up into the truck and after 10 minutes of this, Mindy went over and quietly told Mork that if he told her to climb up in that truck one more time, that she was going to beat him to death right there in front of God and everybody, including the weird guy that was following them around laughing.

About that time, Penelope Pitstop came calling and told me my car was ready. I looked over at Mork and gave him a sympathetic nod of the head and watched as he dropped his head and followed Mindy back to the RAV4 that he was going to be the proud new owner of.

I went to the check-out desk and listened as Penelope told me that I was going to need new tires soon and that they were having a “Buy 3 Get 1 for a penny” sale. She tells me that she took the liberty of getting me a total cost for new tires, which she showed me to be just shy of $1000.00. I informed Mrs. Pitstop that I do not need, nor want, any solid gold tires for that car.

I wonder what color RAV4 Mindy picked out?

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