Moms-The Ultimate Badasses!

I am beyond blessed to have these 2 looking out for me.
An amazing and incredibly HAWT wife and Mom. I love you babe!

Happy Mothers Day to the hardest working people on the planet. Just like the Luke Bryan song says, “I believe…. most Mommas ought to qualify for Sainthood”. Moms are unbelievable people. They can be mad enough to kill you dead, but still make sure the crust is cut off your bread just the way you like it.

Moms will beat your butt with a belt, but throat punch the lady next door for talking mean to you.

Moms will spend all day cleaning up your room, but then later have a pillow fight with you and mess it up again.

Moms will be down to their last $5, be wondering how she is going to pay for her Tupperware order, and still let you grab a “Chick-O-Stick” right before she checks out at the store.

Moms actually spent years wiping doo-doo off your butt, and STILL loved you enough to feed you blended up carrots and green beans!!

Moms will get out in the middle of the night and go to your friends house and pick you up because you got scared on your first sleep-over, and secretly be happy she had to do it because you will be back home with her.

Moms feed and water your pets that you swore you would take care of, even though she knew at the time you said it that you weren’t going to do it.

Moms have spent years trying to get the skid marks out of your underwear!

Moms will jump up and down with happiness when you give her that rock shaped like a heart that you found in the yard, even though it is the 327th one you have given her.

Moms have threatened to kill your dad over a million times if he let anything happen to you……and she meant it!

Moms will keep every single scribbled up piece of paper that you bring home from school until you reach middle school.

Moms will make you and the rest of the family sit outside in the middle of the night to watch a meteor shower because she knows it is something you will never forget.

Moms will use their spit to clean the fake tattoo off of your face before church ………That shit can clean graffiti off of brick walls!

Moms will bring you home a new Hot Wheels, or Barbie, even though you have more than you will ever play with just because she started feeling guilty about yelling at you for putting your brother head first in the trash can.

Moms will get up at 3 in the morning and go outside to untie you from the telephone pole that your brothers tied you to. She will also make them give you back your clothes.

Moms will sit and play games with you even though she has other very important things to do.

Mom will threaten to go to school with you and sit in class with you just to make sure you don’t skip and are doing your work…….and you know she will do it!

To Moms everywhere from all of us bratty ass children:
Thank you for everything you do for us. We love you very much!

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