Being Dumb Is Hard.

I know, I’ve got a lot of years of experience under my belt.

So I bought myself a CNC Router Machine. For those of you that don’t know, it is basically a computer controlled drill bit that let’s you carve designs and other things into wood, plastic, and other materials.

I have wanted one for a long time, however, I am scared to death of this machine.

Allow me to explain.

You see, a few years ago I got a bee in my bonnet to buy a Laser Engraver, which is just a CNC Machine that uses a laser instead of a drill bit. It took me months of high blood pressure inducing practice to get it to actually do what I wanted it to do! I never could figure out where the damned thing would start engraving. So I had to get it all set up and start it, then wait to see where it would move to and start the project. Then I would have to stop it, replace the wood (because when it started to engrave it would mark up the wood that was in there), and then try to position the new piece of wood at the exact place where I needed the engraving to start. This machine was evil!

During that time, I realized that one must understand g-coding and vector images, and other technical terms that I am just too damn dumb to comprehend. Well to shorten this up a little, along about then is when we moved to a new city and the Laser Engraver sits up on a shelf in the garage, shooting me the finger every time I walk in there. Taunting me………..daring me to try again…………………..mean ass machine.

Anyway, so over the past couple years I have become more and more interested in getting back into woodworking and this machine called the “X-Carve” caught my eye and I have been stalking it on the computer ever since. Each day I am on there checking it out, wondering………… maybe ……. just maybe I could figure this thing out.

Well about 6 weeks ago I bit the bullet and bought one. I found a guy in Grand Prairie that had one the size I wanted and he was selling it, and all the extra stuff he had bought with it, for a great price.

It’s been sitting in my garage flipping me the bird ever since I brought it home. It knows I’m scared. It senses the fear in me, the self-doubt, the lingering feelings of defeat that the Laser Engraver dished out to me like a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest. I think they’ve been talking.

Anyway……… I finally gathered up enough courage to give it a try. I woke up this morning determined that I was going to conquer this machine! I was going to hoist the trophy of victory over my head and show that damn machine who is boss!

I’ve been on the computer now for 2 hours trying to figure out why I can’t get a drill bit to go in the router.

Sorry Son of a @$#%

The agony of defeat.


  1. I can’t help you there, but perhaps a call to the guy that sold it to you could offer a solution. (It does sound like those two machines are in cahoots)! Anyway, keep us posted on the pending victory!


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